Friday, January 14, 2011

DIY Tutorial: How to be rich without a corkscrew

D.I.Wine- Get it?

We got some wine.  We don't normally get wine, hence:  no corkscrew.  But we still need to party.  We used our human ingenuity to accomplish that which was necessary to this end.  We will now share the proper way to get the job done:

Step One
Select your vino of choice. 
Ours was a free bottle of Long Lake Chardonnay.

Step Two
Prepare your tools
Our selection was a bike hanger upper thingy. 

 Step Three
Do the twist

Step Four
Try to pull the cork out and fail. 

Step Five
Get a fucking hammer

Step Six
Get a fucking knife

Step Seven
NEVER GIVE UP.

Step Eight
Drink out of a measuring cup because cleaning dishes is for wusses.

Step Ten: Final Step
Smell that shit.
We detect hints of Rosemary and Grapes. 



Now you know. Go show off to your rich friends. We are.

5 comments:

  1. hahaahaha:) we usually can NEVER find a corkscrew and end up doing the same kinda shit! lol! i tried using a sharp knife last week and Bryan was yelling at me telling me he was gonna do it....he sure did! funny

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  2. "GEt a fucking hammer", such ingenuity. like i said before your lives together should be recorded digitally and then transmitted to the world. I think all the craziness would go away.

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  3. You can also get any blunt object and pound the cork INTO the bottle.... been there and done that often. Desperate times......

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