A Shitty Night.

Guess what?

Last night ate a giant bag of dicks.  Here's why:

5:30
My van wouldn't start.  Nicola's car needed to go into the shop, so I had to get my van running in order to take her to and from.  So, I called my friend Matt (Like a good neighbor, Matt Clark is there) to come over with his jumper cables and help me out.  He obliged, because he is a true gentleman.

6:15

It worked!  Yes.  

So, I drove that sumbitch on down to the gas station to fill 'er up for the impending adventures in car fix-ery.  Payed for that gas.  Pumped that gas.  Put the key in the ignition, turned it.  Nothing happened.  Motherfucker.  I called Nicola to come give me a hand at the gas station.  We bought some cables and tried to jump that old van again.  Would not work.  

This is exactly what I look like.

7:00

We came to the conclusion that the battery was dead.  So, we went and bought a new battery and brought it back.  We got it installed after about an hour, thanks to a kindly man named Mark who had more tools than us.  GUESS WHAT?  THE FUCKING VAN STILL DIDN'T START.  

So, we took a seat in Nicola's car to call a tow truck.  

8:00

As we're on the phone with The tow people, an SUV comes barreling around the pump and smashes the god damn shit out of Nicola's car.

This is what we both look like.

This seems pretty bad, right?

Well, as we're both getting out of the car to exchange insurance in a calm and normal manner, a man jumps out of the passenger seat and sprints into the horizon, and the SUV peels away.

I chased the SUV so fast that fire came out of my body.  This is a scientific fact.

I did not catch it.  But, luckily, there was a police car right next to the gas station that saw the whole thing.  Lights went on, and cops chased bad guys.  Did they catch them?  Let me answer that question with another question.  Do cops ever do what you want them to?  No.

The cops came back and told us that the "suspects" had jumped out of the car while it was still moving, and let it roll into a bunch of cars parked on the street.  They ran, and escaped.  Oh, guess what else?  It was a stolen car.  So even though I got the license plate number, it didn't matter.  

8:30 - 10:00

We hung around the gas station waiting for tow trucks for both our cars.  Only good part of the night:  one driver bent Nicola's car back into driving shape, and the other figured out what was wrong with my van and fixed it.  So, the night only cost us about one hundred and fifty dollars.  Ha.  Until we get the bill from Nicola's car.  

Eat a dick, January.